That was the title of the email I sent my sister and BFF last night. I will show you the accompanying photo farther down. But first I must explain some things.
I have the digestive system equivalent to a crabby kid that doesn't want to do something it doesn't want to do. This problem has resulted in me being an old lady and drinking Metamucil. One of my friends was saying she can't drink it because of how bad the bloat is. I haven't seen this problem yet. I usually sip it, and if the powder to water ratio isn't perfect, it gets kind of gelatin like. FYI- GROSS! So last night I decided to chug it. Get it down and over with. After 15 minutes afterwards I was feeling like a balloon. I also believe I could have been used as a flotation device. So I decided to go in the bathroom and look in the mirror. I have NEVER seen such a sight on me! I was instantly 4 months pregnant with a gas baby. Photographic evidence was needed. I really don't like bare pregnant belly photos. It kind of disturbs me. So this will be the only bare belly picture you will ever see of me. (Note: It's just gassy bloat!) I blacked out my undies and top...no one needs to see all that.
It was the weirdest thing that has ever happened. Every time I burped it would go down a month of gas baby pregnancy.
Good news, this morning I am happy to report that my gas baby is no more. I am back to normal. It was kind of fun to get a glimpse into my (distant) future (but I have a feeling my future pregnant self's ass would grow too, not just the belly).
Oh well....I got lots of time before that happens!
WARNING: Chugging Metamucil will make you look as if you sucked on an air hose and feel like it to. Slowly sip!!!