Just around the corner....

IS VACATION!!! Whoop Whoop..Yes, I am dancing on the inside, but calmly typing on the outside. Every year my boyfriend and two of his friends from High School (the group grows as people get married and have babies) go on a beach trip late August. Last year was my first time joining the group. There are 6.25 people going (the 1/4 of a person is Abby, she's just a little of a year old and still compact size and precious). Last year we went to North Myrtle Beach were there is an endless supply of putt putt courses and piss (I pissed in my pants while playing putt putt...I am not proud of this, but it is still dang funny...don't make me laugh too hard...I tend to leak...in this instance the shut off valve was broken.....there was a puddle) This year we are opting for a more serene location.....drum roll please....dom...dom...dom...dom... (that's my typed version of the drum roll)........Holden Beach, NC. (reference Red dot please) I am very excited this is the first time I will have been to a North Carolina beach...EVA! But I am not very excited that I will be forced to watch Shark Week on Discovery this week, and to boot...when I googled images for Holden Beach this shiz came up..... (FYI...not for weak stomachs) ....accompanying article If it wasn't official last night after watching people in Cali get eaten by sharks, it is after seeing this article and picture....KELLY'S ASS SHALL STAY UPON THE SAND....I might splash around in water deep enough to cover my feet, but that's it...If anyone wants to go swimming at their own risk that's fine, if you need a beer I will throw you one from the beach! I don't want to be shark bait!

I want my shake with a side of Frye's

Everyone has a little big of wiggle when the walk....if you don't, you better start putting your hips in it!!

But hey, I would rather accentuate my "shake" with some Frye boots. I will give it to them...they made some dang good looking boots! It makes me beg for Fall and Winter...I want it here ASAP, but I don't want colder weather without these AMAZING boots. Here are a few of my favorite in some Celeb sightings....

Anne Hathaway from Frye's Facebook page

Katherine Heigl from Frye Facebook Page
And a FAVorite of mine...
January Jones from Frye's Facebook page

Check all their boots out on The Frye Company website

Dear Mother Nature,

First, will you make money grow on trees so that I can afford a pair, and after that, make the weather suitable for boots!!

Your the best,
Kelly

Do your ears hang low?

On Sunday I feel in love with a set of ears. What was attached to those ears was a black/tan/ and white bloodhound mix puppy, with eyes that said take me home and cuddle with me and tie my ears in a knot (not cruelly, just as I sing the song...can you tie 'em knot, can you tie 'em in a bow)


I named him Clampett, you know from Beverly Hillbillies. It just seems so fitting doesn't it. I didn't bring him home, but if you know anyone that is interested, he has a brother that looks just like him, and a sister that is a redbone color.

They are available at The Great Dane Rescue of the Carolinas where doggie kisses are always free.

Standing puddles causes spinning

You read the title and probably are trying to figure out what this is about. Well my friends, it's about a term calling hydroplaning. The definition that wikipedia gives me is this: Hydroplaning (tires), a loss of steering or braking control when a layer of water prevents direct contact between road vehicle or aircraft tires and the road or runway surface. At this point, cars can slide across the top of the water like a skier until their momentum decreases enough where they sink or they reach the other side of the road.

Here is my version of the term:

Driving down I-75 in Georgia. Me and my sister, and my sister's friend (who ended up being my roommate and now best friend), are heading to our house in South Georgia, from Athens for the weekend. Please note that this is Daniela's (our friend) first trip down to the country. About two hours into the drive and about one hour left in the trip, it starts raining so hard, and next thing you know, my car turns towards the inside wall of the interstate. I thought we were going to hit head on, then something happens and then we head back across over three lanes of traffic towards the trees along side the interstate. We managed to slide across the interstate without hitting anything. All I could see was rows of pine trees ahead of us....I had a brief flash that this was it, I was about to meet my maker. The mud kind of turns my car to the side and then we smack the tree then bounce back and kind of sink in the mud. After a few seconds of catching our breath again, and actually being able to get words out, we get out of the car. I immediately go to look at the damage....

I keep looking, and keep looking....there isn't a damn scratch....what just happened...I am scratching my head at this point. I trek through the mud to look at the tree. I can't see any marks, but I do see a stumpy knob growing off some of the root of the tree...holy crap....my tire hit that and bounced of the tree....
It was a miracle....I can't remember who, but someone in the car saw a flash of a semi heading straight at us, but we managed to miss it, we missed all the traffic....we hit NOTHING! How did that happen?!?

As we sit there going, what the heck do we do now. I call my dad, because what else do I do when something car related happened. We call 911, and they sent out a cop. My car is stuck in the mud, there is no driving out. While we wait for help, I see a car pulled over on the road not very far away. I run down there and I am like "OH MY GOSH! Did I hit you?" The lady looked at me dumbfounded and replies "What, I am having car trouble?" She didn't even see us stuck in the mud and thought I was crazy. Well I will settle with crazy if I didn't get slapped with fixing someones car.

So we called a wrecker prior to the cops getting there. The cops told us to get out of the rain and sit in the back of the car. While we waiting one cop decides he thinks he can drive my car out. He said I know it's illegal to call a wrecker then leave, but he said I don't want you to have to pay for a good tug, because that's all that it needed. The cop tried and tried, but to no avail.

Guess what...here is where it get funnier...between three college students, how much cash do you think is in the car?!?! A full total of less than $20. So the wrecker pulled me out then told me it would be $4o. I asked if he took checks, he said cash only....ummmm...dude it's either you take less than $20 cash or you take a check...he took the check. We all got lectured from out parents about carrying emergency cash for such a thing. Oooops....we spent it on beer the week before :)haha

It was all a miracle, that much I know...but we have all had laughs that day and any time this memory comes up!!


PS. It was brought to my attention by one of the participants that I forgot to mention the little fact that before the hydroplaning, all three of us had to use the ladies room, and after the spin we were shocked that no one pissed their pants. Needless to say, after the whole debacle and about an hour later and were able to get back on the road and legs tightly crossed, we stopped at the first exit and used the most god awful bathroom EVER!! (If you know me, you know it's a miracle in itself that I DIDN'T pee in my pants...I tend to do that...especially if I laugh really really hard)

Wedding Attire Talk

No, I am not getting married! No, I am not engaged! But.....I do have an opinion...come on, you know this...it's me we are talking about. I always have an opinion. Here it is....

Brides spend ooo-goodles of money on a dress that you WILL NEVER wear again and then when it comes to shoes, most are like who cares, you aren't going to see my feet much anyway. Well, here are my thoughts. When it comes to budgeting for wedding attire, spend 20% of your attire budget on dress and 80% on your SHOES!!!
WHITE DRESS YOU WON'T WEAR AGAIN, BUT SHOES, SHOES YOU CAN WEAR AGAIN!!


So when my day comes, it'll be...hello David's Bridal $99 dress sale, and HELLO Christian Louboutin(see above picture), Manolo, or Jimmy Choo! Face it, we all want a fancy pair of ridiculously expensive shoes, who wants a ridiculously expensive dress you can only look at hanging in the closet taking up space!! You can always remember the day that started your journey when you slip on your special shoes...because, if they have red bottoms then they are SPECIAL!!

Think about it like this: Wedding versus Marriage

A wedding is one day and you will wear that dress once, and most likely will be out of style in the coming years. A marriage is suppose to last a lifetime, and that's a lot of miles you will be trekking with your intended. Make your feet look pretty with shoes that never go out of style!!

I won't lie...I have already looked at shoes...looking at dresses before engagement is bad luck...but there is no harm in looking at shoes....

Christian Louboutin: Sparkly Prefection or the I love you, but I love the shoes more (Not really, but maybe just a little) or the We could be best friends for life ...the one's I would love and cherish forever and forever, and may wear to bed every night are pictured above (Yes, SATC 2 ones).

My favorite Jimmy Choo's : Sparkly black, Sparkly Silver Ankle Strap, Strappy and metallic..oh my and best and most expensive for last

ManoLO LO LO : The ever famous "Something Blue" in the Manhattan closet or the "Someone took my shoes", "She made us take our shoes off at the door" shoes

And lest we not forget Prada- "I've taken a LOVA"

With all that said, is it "Diamonds are a girls best friend", or is it "a designer pair of shoes are a girls best friend"!

There is only one Vegas

So peeps...we need to have a talk. I need to get a pet peeve off my sleeve. Once upon a time, a really drunk, fun person that loved to gamble decided to build a place called Las Vegas...there is no other place like it, despite others' efforts. There will never be another place like it, and most certainly every town across America, will not ever be Las Vegas. (Okay not sure how Vegas was started, but I like my theory...and hats off to the person that created Vegas, because I am pretty sure without it, my favorite game, Craps, would not exist...so Cheers!! See you again soon, I promise!) Back to my point, I get really tired, annoyed, and kind of like "Dude/Dudette you aren't as cool as you think you are" when people take the first letter of their city of choice (whether it be where they grew up, went to college, live now, or just might be going to for a weekend) and attach "Vegas" to the end of it. Oh, you know these people, and the facebook era has increased this usage, because of status updates people ACTUALLY think we care what they are doing, and think they should up their cool factor (which they aren't) by throwing in, "Heading to G'Vegas this weekend" or "Don't you wish you were here in Val'Vegas". (okay I know the last one is more than the first letter, but this is for Valdosta, Ga, I've heard this one alot, and have held my tongue this long) Hey Dip Shit...do you have gambling, do you serve drinks while I roll dice, are your bars/clubs/restaurants open 24 hrs a day, can you buy a Louis Vuitton and a hooker on the same city block, do you have caged lions, do you have a water fountain show (and no I don't mean the token city drunk peeing in the town square fountain), do you have BETTE MIDLER...since you can't say yes to any of the questions, please NEVER SAY (insert letter here)'VEGAS ever again! Please and Thank you!

Speeding...I am going to claim it's hereditary

Seriously... I think it is. Did you know my father? Have you met his brother? Apparently ride shotgun with my uncle and you will be crying prayers to sweet baby Jesus, or so says my brother in law!

Well, I got my second ticket in over 6 months Easter weekend.

The previous one was Labor day weekend. Guess what, both were in the tragic and unfortunate state that is South Carolina. Side note: I really hate the palmetto state! There are plenty of good reasons, just to name a few...HIGHWAY PATROL, terrible roads, Steve Spurrier (okay that's a tick against the state of Florida also), and a few other's I won't publicly list :) Anyway, the two tickets, put SC on the top of my most disliked states. I truly believe the only thing going for it is the beaches...seriously if they didn't have a coast they would be screwed!

Back to the point of the blog entry...speeding. I had a really good run there for awhile. The last speeding ticket prior to the labor day one was in Athens, Ga in the Summer of 2003, or it could have been the one I got in Perry, Georgia coming back from the Ga/Fla game, but I can't remember when that one was. Needless to say, I am not new to the blue flashing lights and the pretty pastel slips of paper. Should I do the laundry list?!?! I may not be able to remember the exact order, but here goes a try.
1. 80 in a 55, Junior year of High School (1999), coming home from babysitting to go to the football game (I was the team statistician...who else was going to keep up with who ran/threw how many yards...I had to be there on time)

2. 55 in 35, end of freshman year of college (2001), boyfriend at the time was moving out of dorm, and I took his friend to go get food(a guy named Corona-he even asked me loudly with the cop standing there...where's the nearest dunkin donuts, seriously that's when the warning flew out of reach)

3. 80 in a 70, on I-75 through speed trap that is Perry, Ga. I was so tired and coming back from a loooong weekend in Jacksonville, FL. I think it may have been fall of 2003.

4. Ran a stop sign in some ghetto off of I-20 in Atlanta on the way to six flags, I swear that I didn't see it, and went to court and got out of it (Cop was a no show)

5. 51 in a 35, literally 2 days after the stop sign ticket, in Athens, GA, not a mile from my apartment on College Station.

So the last one was sometime in 2003. I went a good 6 years without a blip, a warning, and then bam, 2 in 6 months.

Well, I have never heard of getting a lawyer for a traffic violation, but up here in the Carolina's, it's apparently what everyone does. I got my first lawyer, and I didn't have to show up to court, he got my ticket reduced, and all I had to do was send a check for my ticket amount. I should have had an Staples "That was easy" button to smack.

So for now on, me and my Cruise control are going to have a very close and loving relationship! I HOPE!!!