And the 2009 Academy Award goes to....

I know, I know, I had a lot of favorites and disasters for the Golden Globes, but for the Oscars, I am going to narrow it down to my votes for Best and Worst dressed. It was easy, because when it came to thinking about these categories, I only have two people that popped in my mind.

And the Oscar goes to...

Anne Hathaway for BEST DRESSED

Wearing a silver beaded Armani Prive gown.

Beyonce Knowles for WORST DRESSED

Wearing, rumored to be House of Deron, her clothing line with her mother Tina Knowles. Obviously they haven't admitted it, because it's just hideous!

Okay, I know I said I was only featuring just the best and worst, but I had to throw this in for fun. This is the Winner of the ALMOST NEEDED SENSORS FOR THE ACADEMY AWARDS SHOW.

GOLDIE HAWN

This dress is hanging on my prayer alone. She is millimeters away from a nip slip. If Kurt so much as steps on the bottom of the dress, its a boobs out situation!!

Stick Figure Families

As I was driving to work this morning I got behind a Volvo station wagon, that came equiped with a stick figure family. Not to mention a stick figure family that has been to Disney World (see below- they have Mickey ears)

Why do people feel the need to let everyone on the road how many kids they have? It really isn't necessary. It's about like your facebook status...NO ONE CARES. No one cares how many children you pop out, or how many dogs you have. Call me sinister, I don't care...I am a realist, and guess what I am sure I am not the only person out there that finds this trend annoying and stupid.

Should single people ride around with just their stick figures, and hope to pass a car with another single stick figure, then when they pass each other will realize they are meant for each other (obviously because they are both losers), and combine stick figures on cars, then produce kid stick figures!! No one needs to know how fertile you are, by the number of stick figures on your car.

I raise one question: What kind of car has the biggest back window, so that Octo-mom can put stick figures of fourteen kids, one woman, and I guess her parents too (since they take care of all of them)?

Don't get me wrong...I want kids one day, but you can bet your ass I ain't putting stick figures on my back window! I don't want to alert pedofiles to "follow that car" because it obviously transports children.

Here is my theory of the people that put stick figure families on their cars: It's most likely one of those people that have always been desperate to get married and start a family, and once they have achieved that goal (which most likely is the only goal they've ever had in life), they feel the need to let others know.

I think crack whores should put them on, but instead of their names underneath, who the father of each kid is and how much they are getting from the government for each kid.

The picture below I find hilarious....Everyone has smiles on their face but Mom (to me she looks medicated...Prozac, maybe)...see obviously it was the guys decision to have children!!!

Well if you were thinking of putting a stick figure family on your back window...I hope I have changed your mind so you don't become apart of the people in this world that are simply...RIDICULOUS!

What not to do....when someone has lost a parent.

I write this in fun and hope that people don't get offended. I also truly mean to be informative, because before recently, I wouldn't have known that saying/doing these things are bad, I mean some are just common sense, but for those people lacking that, I will inform them.

1. I want to start with the old saying..."If you don't know what to say, say nothing at all." I will say that this is very very good, and everyone should abide by it, especially in the situation of death.

2. Do not, I repeat do not...raise the question, "What happened?" " Where did it happen?" and other similar questions the day of the funeral, or at the families home before they all go to the funeral. You are probably questioning why I am saying this, and wondering do I speak from experience. You are very right, I do speak from experience, because someone asked my uncle these questions right before we left to go to my father's funeral. There is a time and a place for everything, and common sense should have told this person now is not the time. You have no idea what it took for me to remain calm and a lady and not let this person (albeit related) have a piece of my mind. They also say you can't choose your extended family!!

3. Don't say I just went through it, if your situation is completely different. You can sympathize, but please don't say that you "went through the exact situation", when your situation is this...You are 45 and your father was present at your wedding, and got to know your children, his grandchildren. I am 27, my father will not walk me down the aisle at my wedding, nor will my children get to be spoiled by their grandfather. So yes, it strikes a bitter cord. Again, you can sympathize with someone who has lost a parent, but please don't say you know exactly how that person feels without reviewing all the facts. Again, I am speaking from unfortunate recent experience.

4. Don't say, "I know how you feel, I just lost my grandparent." I love my grandparents, but it is so different to bury a parent, the person that helped bring you into this world. Just simply say, "I'm sorry"and leave it at that. Don't try to relate, because you can't, nor do you want to. This was discussed amongst other people in the "lost a parent" club and was decidedly the worst!

5. I will end with what I started with, because I feel this is the most important thing, "If you don't know what to say, say nothing at all."

I don't mean to bring offense to anyone, but if offense has been delivered, then most likely you fall in the categories that I mentioned, and should learn from it and not repeat the mistake again. This is supposed to be informative, so call your self - informed about these little life lessons!


I hope this brings humor to those that have lost a parent, because I discussed most of these situations with friends that have also lost parents a lot sooner than we should have, and we have laughed about the lack of common sense in a lot of people.

Laughter has been my biggest comfort through this, and if laughing at stupid people makes my days brighter, I am happy that the world if filled with some dumb ass people!!

Sirius and XM Talk Radio Shows

I am just saying....I would kick ass at my own radio talk show....As I have been scrolling through the stations to see what's out there...well there is a radio talk show for everything. I will say some are stupid, some are informative, some are funny....so I thought it can't be that hard!

So if anyone knows how to help me get my own talk radio show for those people that need a sarcastic dose of reality, let me know.

I tell stupid stories, I am sarcastic, I am a well rounded person (meaning I love fashion and I love hunting.) I think I can appeal to a wide range audience.

Call Me!

Quote that gives me hope

"You can shed tears that he is gone, or you can smile because he lived. You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all he's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see him, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember him only that he is gone, or you can cherish his memory and let it live on. You can cry and closer your mind, be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on"

Things that Annoy me (some people may not like me anymore...but what do I care)

Okay...I took this one down....I guess I do have a weak spot where I don't want people to dislike me, even though these people annoy the hell out of me.

Oh well...I guess I am not as much of a bitch as I thought.